a little behind

Some shots from Easter.  

little boyness

a bit of mischief before egg hunting

happiness, goofiness, love

handsome

some silly love

Held

Start a day with this, "...and in him all things hold together." (Colossians 1:17)

This verse feels like it is both scolding me and embracing me.  "In Christ! all things hold together."

a tight love on his puppy, in a shirt from his daddy's childhood made by his Gran Maddie

I forget, and I get ever-so cranky.
I want to hold it together!  Not really though, I just want to pick a few things out of the human-experience pot that I think seem nice, and then let God give me those things.

A home decorated with all the wonderful trappings that Pinterest has to suggest, a few kids, good health for...well, everyone, and maybe awesome hair even when the humidity is 99%.  (I mean, while I'm picking out of the pot, might as well go big.)

Those things may give me a feeling of happiness or security.
Maybe for a while, a person may help you feel  happy or even secure; but it's only a feeling.  Only Christ, who gave His life as a sacrifice for my sins, can give me Love. Security.  Peace.  Not just the feeling of those things.
Remember Annabelle,"God is Love." (1 John 4:16)
But I don't see Love most of the time.  I see the feeling I experience.  And often, I don't even try to see Him, to see Love.  I just see the debris of humanness, too much or too little or this that and the other.

this creek of adventure and play is our apartment's backyard, amazing!

And I certainly can't hold everything together.  I think we've all tried that, and know it just ends with us tired and sobbing over something ridiculous like the post office being closed, or not having the right ribbon for a package!  Oh no!
And the big stuff.  Our families, death, sickness, financial questions...I don't want to be in control of those and I'm not.
My Savior, my Lord, my God who is Love, is in control; in Him all things were created and are held together!

And I can rest in Him, in Him who Lives in me! and rest in peace.

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For by him all things were created:  things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

hidden

(an old post I did, and then apparently didn't post here)...  funny how old learnings can be just for the now.
I have been reading in Colossians the past little bit and this week 3:1-4 hit home, especially this,

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God" and this, "For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."


Hidden.  Hidden?  That stuck out to me.  My life is hidden in Christ.  I work against this every. day.  Every day I want to exist.  I want praise.  I want to be seen outside of Christ.  I get so territorial about my life and my existence.   But the only thing waiting for me outside of Christ, is bondage to those things I so crave praise and adoration from.  Slavery to having it all together;  cooking great meals, encouraging and teaching Oliver, having a great shop, writing great posts, biblically disciplining ...Those things which can be good gifts from the Lord get skewed into being gods and then I'm just "dead in my sins."
Every day, life is to be found in dying to myself.  Every. Day. I must die.

And in dying, I can be "raised with Christ!"  With Christ, who conquered the grave!  Christ who rose to perfect, full, free LIFE!  I am raised with Him!  Isn't that wonderful?!  To know, that every day Christ reigns and in being hidden in Him, sin does not have authority over me.

It's wonderful.  But every day I struggle, stubbornly clinging to my ways and habits that fit, so nicely, in this world, giving in to "what if" fears and holding, no clinging to my dear loves.

And so, I am daily trying die and let Christ live.  And it is a battle.

Sunshine sale!

Maybe it's the warm, delicious sunshine or the lunch date I got to have all by my lonesome (I somehow ate a chicken salad wrap for over an hour, pretty sure it could have gone bad I dragged out lunch so long :); but I feel like a sale just needs to happen.
I've got some new things in the store and more ideas a-comin'! And I now have the ability to offer more sizing and shirt color options, so stop by http://www.etsy.com/shop/humdiddly and see what suits!
CODE: spring25 for 25% off your purchase!

Girls ROAR!

Blooming tree

The Goose step

Tension

water muscles and...I think he's flipping me the bird :)

Oh, Oliver.
Maybe it's the fact that you want to go down the big boy slide but still carry Mama James around on adventures.  Maybe it's that salty, sweaty, dirt-under-the-fingernails, barefoot life, adventuring smell.  Maybe it's your squished down ears or your smiling dimple.  Maybe it's that you say things like, "these Diesels (meaning some of your trains) are just like Tom Kitten, they are too fat!"  Or that you measure everything in odd, made-up ways like, your latest as of today, ear-miles.  What?  Or maybe it's that you kind of sound like a little Billy Graham, when you tell me about one of your memory verses.  "And I was strong and brave because the Lord your God is with you! But it was a dark and...I was strong and brave!" Maybe it's that you have 2, only 2, emotions:  complete happiness or deep, weeping sadness.

snuggly love.

I love you. Oliver Paul Carter, love you.  My sweet love, buddy, little boy.  

And today isn't your birthday or half-birthday, but I just want to mark this time in your life.  This time of still rushing to tell me everything! Because everything is important! and big! and worth allowing me to experience!
Love you having a meltdown in the park over a question mark thing, love you sleeping and dreaming, love you trying to sneak and play in your bed, instead of sleeping and dreaming.

And I'm pulled everyday between crying at the signs of you becoming more and more independent, and crying because I'm so happy and proud for you.
Ahhh, that lovely tension.
Life. Lived.

oliver told me he lived in this house now, (meaning the fort).

Stop Complaining!

Disclaimer:  I know that I don't do this well.  And I know we aren't going to be perfect, but I don't think that means we should encourage a limited joy and a limited peace.  Grace.  

"Therefore, as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful." 
Colossians 3:12-15

Complaining.

about the rain, the heat
about sickness
about nothing being on TV
about our co-worker who eats Fritos all day
about the cubicle we are in
about whining children
about disobedient children
about just silly children
about our husbands job
about cheerios
about our homes
about traffic
about lines at Target resulting in tantrums at Target
about middle of the night cries and early mornings
.......on and on we complain.

And it has to stop.
I believe that women, and really, moms especially are complaining a lot.  I do it too.  I could add a gagillion things to that list; complained about His good gifts.  I think we complain, sometimes, because we want more respect.  Or maybe we want someone to take pity on all the diapers and feedings and sore backs and messy homes that drive. us. mad. and always explaining in 1 year old, 2 year old, 3 year old language and the constant conversations about trucks and trains and fairy princesses and NO, you are not finished eating!

and sand, copious amounts of sand in between toes, filling up shoes and covering floors

I get it.  I know.  Being home with your children is hard.  Sitting in a cubicle is hard.  Teaching 20 kids is hard.  Traveling all the time is hard.

But just because it is hard does not give you the right to throw it back up at God as a complaint!  He has given you this!  "And be thankful."
And believe me, I am typing this out, drumming this into my own thick head.

When I was studying these verses in Colossians, I was struck  with letting "the peace of Christ rule."  And in reading and re-reading this part I just kept thinking peace can RULE.  It has power over anger, frustration, pettiness, fear, chaos, shame and complaining.  Peace is strong, peace is ready to do battle and to win!  It is of Christ!  Who won every battle, who won THE WAR!
"Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Clothe yourselves with the strength of Christ!  Allow Christ into your weakness for pity parties and whining and a need for approval.  Allow Him to be strong in your life.

"And be thankful."
That is really the kicker.  Be thankful.  And when you are thankful, you open yourself up to being transfigured into more of His likeness, and less of this complaining world.  And we find joy.  Deep joy that isn't just about feeling happy and livin' easy.  Joy in those hard moments of always taking care and raising up.  Joy in sacrificial love. Joy in yet another diaper run, in soothing a cry, in disciplining at Target.  Something being hard doesn't mean there isn't joy in it.

So, don't limit joy and "the peace of Christ" to just some aha-moments in your day, or when you get to "high-five your husband when the kids are in bed for a job done."  (quote from this article circulating about) And lets encourage one another to find this joy rather than try to dress up a complaint with humor or wit.

free is good

happy sweet day, everyone